Numb

Everything is blank, the colors of the wind, the love that I share with you and everyday it seems as if I’m losing you. The love and affection is gone and all that’s left is the pain without your kiss, your embrace, your touch but what I remember most is the memories of how much love we shared with each other. You promised you wouldn’t leave me and you told me that you would forever love me but here I am on drink number 12 and all I feel is the pain and the constant reminders of how much you hurt me. I am usually able to forgive but you hurt me to the point where I am numb. nothing is safe, nothing is clear, nothing is clear and I am alone with nothing but the feeling of being numb. 

Cheating 

How can you do it? How can you tell someone “I can’t trust myself to not cheat on you”? Like that right there is a deal breaker for me and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m gonna be the one ending up like the fool. I don’t wanna come out of this relationship being the fool who fell for the cheater. I really do love him and I want to be with him but it seems like he has other things on his mind. 

The Goodbye 

It’s the simplest thing a goodbye. But yet I’m sitting here finding myself lost in the words I’m going to say and I’m dreading it. I want so much to stay and be with you forever but my future is on the line and I have to pursue my dreams. But your my dream and your everything I want and when I think about all the moments we’ve shared and all the love I have for you i wanna stay and spend my life with you. But here I am sitting finding myself lost in the words I’m going to say and all I have to say is Goodbye.

Tragedy in it’s best form

New things are progressing as my past starts to fade and my future is just 1 step away but the past has many fates and thus far the ones I’ve chosen have been full of darkness and despair. The future holds so many things and as I decide my fate parts of my old life start to fade away. As I close my eyes, images of that summer appear and I realize how the past was full of hate, pain, death, loneliness and fear of the events later to come that the blinded eyes shielding me from forgetting the past. In silence, I lay alone in my bed wondering how my life ended up this way, yet I think of that day I made it all fade away but that day has long passed and my revelation will come. On this day I will finally know the meaning redemption and forgive myself or at least cope with all the lies and shades of the truth that I have been thorough. Life is the result of death but death is the beginning of the end but the revelation comes before the Grimm Reaper asks to take your head.